Surrender: What Does It Mean?

Like many men, I have long had difficulty with the word surrender. 

My mountain bike friends and I enjoy thinking of ourselves as noble warriors heading in the battle. We call our bikes mighty steeds, our knee and elbow pads are armor. And like men throughout history, the last thing we want to do in in battle is wave the white flag of defeat.

But there are times in life, when one realizes that a battle cannot be won. It's time to give up the fight - at least the way we've been fighting it. The best choice is to surrender.

Surrender does not mean to stop trying, it does not mean to give up hope for a positive outcome. Rather, if you look on dictionary.com, the first meaning is to “yield to the power of another.”

There are many situations in daily life where we yield to the power of another. I had a snowboarding accident in March, 2018, which required hospitalization. I yielded to the power of another: the hospital, surgeons and staff.

When I get on an airplane, I surrender to the power of the crew. I used to wonder if I might fly the plane more safely, but considering I’ve never had a flying lesson, it’s probably better the trained pilots are in the cockpit!

And there's the concept of spiritual surrender. Since I began my spiritual journey in April 2007, I have increasingly learned to yield to another power, at least in certain areas of my life. Some areas where I seek to surrender include emotions, relationships, and work and finances

But I am happiest, when I surrender my life entirely. It’s very tiring trying to make all my decisions my way, solve all my problems my way, etc. It’s very relaxing to turn it over to a Higher Power, and the outcome is always superior.

And surrendering can be fun! For example, I'm powerless over mountain biking, I'm powerless over snowboarding. I love being out in nature, and testing my athletic skills. I can't help it. I'm powerless, so I surrender and go.

What does it mean to surrender, in a spiritual sense? It means to turn over your life - thoughts, feeling, actions and more - to something else: God, the universe, other people, etc.

Surrendering can be on a grand cosmic scale, such as searching for meaning or purpose. But it can be also be on an  everyday interpersonal level, such as "what trail are we riding today," or "what's for dinner?" Interpersonal surrender is awesome. With my partner, children or friends, I'm invariably happier when I turn it over to their will, their desires.

Surrendering does not mean giving up your power. In fact, surrendering is highly empowering. You'll feel more power when you adopt a life of intuitive decisions, effortless relationships, focusing on what you can change, and accepting the rest.

As for surrendering as a man, a female friend recently told me "There is nothing more masculine than a man surrendering to his God." Indeed, most if not all great men in history - one way or another - have yielded to a greater power.

What about you? Where in life do consistently meet resistance? What are you powerless to change? What would you like to spend more time doing? What would you spend less time doing? Where do you need to surrender?
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And to what can you surrender? God, the universe, your spouse or partner, a friend, a support group, your tribe? Try yielding to a power greater than yourself. Relax, and let something else fly the plane. You'll get where you need to go faster and easier, and you'll enjoy the journey more.