Like many men, I have long had difficulty with the word surrender. My mountain bike friends and I enjoy thinking of ourselves as noble warriors heading in the battle. We call our bikes mighty steeds, our knee and elbow pads are armor. And like men throughout history, the last thing we want to do in in battle is wave the white flag of defeat. But there are times in life, when one realizes that a battle cannot be won. It's time to give up the fight - at least the way we've been fighting it. The best choice is to surrender. Surrender does not mean to stop trying, it does not mean to give up hope for a positive outcome. Rather, if you look on dictionary.com, the first meaning is to “yield to the power of another.” There are many situations in daily life where we yield to the power of another. I had a snowboarding accident in March, 2018, which required hospitalization. I yielded to the power of another: the hospital, surgeons and staff. When I get on an airplane, I surrender to the power of the crew. I used to wonder if I might fly the plane more safely, but considering I’ve never had a flying lesson, it’s probably better the trained pilots are in the cockpit! And there's the concept of spiritual surrender. Since I began my spiritual journey in April 2007, I have increasingly learned to yield to another power, at least in certain areas of my life. Some areas where I seek to surrender include emotions, relationships, and work and finances But I am happiest, when I surrender my life entirely. It’s very tiring trying to make all my decisions my way, solve all my problems my way, etc. It’s very relaxing to turn it over to a Higher Power, and the outcome is always superior. And surrendering can be fun! For example, I'm powerless over mountain biking, I'm powerless over snowboarding. I love being out in nature, and testing my athletic skills. I can't help it. I'm powerless, so I surrender and go. What does it mean to surrender, in a spiritual sense? It means to turn over your life - thoughts, feeling, actions and more - to something else: God, the universe, other people, etc. Surrendering can be on a grand cosmic scale, such as searching for meaning or purpose. But it can be also be on an everyday interpersonal level, such as "what trail are we riding today," or "what's for dinner?" Interpersonal surrender is awesome. With my partner, children or friends, I'm invariably happier when I turn it over to their will, their desires. Surrendering does not mean giving up your power. In fact, surrendering is highly empowering. You'll feel more power when you adopt a life of intuitive decisions, effortless relationships, focusing on what you can change, and accepting the rest. As for surrendering as a man, a female friend recently told me "There is nothing more masculine than a man surrendering to his God." Indeed, most if not all great men in history - one way or another - have yielded to a greater power. What about you? Where in life do consistently meet resistance? What are you powerless to change? What would you like to spend more time doing? What would you spend less time doing? Where do you need to surrender? And to what can you surrender? God, the universe, your spouse or partner, a friend, a support group, your tribe? Try yielding to a power greater than yourself. Relax, and let something else fly the plane. You'll get where you need to go faster and easier, and you'll enjoy the journey more.
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It was a perfect day.
There was 7 inches of fresh snow, blue skies, snowboarding above treeline, on an empty mountain with Rocky Mountain powder all to ourselves. I was in a state of flow and bliss. Then I hit a rock, going really fast. It was perfectly hidden by a thin snow. I was snowboarding about 30 miles per hour. The first rock snagged me and smashed to the ground. My right knee was punched into a second set of rocks. I fractured my patella, medical speak for I broke my kneecap: not good. An event that lasted perhaps three seconds changed my life. There was extreme pain for days or weeks to come. I spent my $7,000.00 medical deductible in three seconds. I was sidelined from my favorite sports for 90 days. I couldn't drive, walk, or even carry a cup of coffee for 6 weeks. And did I mention extreme pain? As I was lying in the hospital bed, awaiting my first surgery since I was five years old, my hand picked up my phone. Out of nowhere, a list was written of 15 potential blessings that come out of this unexpected misfortune. I didn't write the list, it came to me, I was merely the typist. I could have spiraled into anger, depression or fear, or a pity party. But what good would that do? Why not find out what it means to surrender? Perhaps I would discover something good - or even amazing - in a seemingly terrible incident? In one way or another, all of the 15 blessings are coming true, or will do so. I won't list them all, but I will focus on one. Breaking my kneecap - and being partially disabled for 3 months - changed the focus of my life. For years, I had been living for my hobbies. As result result of a three second incident, I was deprived of my hobbies for three months. For weeks unending, all I could do was lie on a couch. I was guided to focus on work, and specifically my purpose work, which includes this blog. You are reading this blog post, and this website is live, because I had that accident. Had I not had that accident, I would be mountain biking or snowboarding instead of writing this. This isn't new thinking. Many people, famous or otherwise, have been able to find a blessing in misfortune. Stephen Hawking is considered perhaps the greatest physicist of his time. Hawking started becoming paralyzed at an early age. In his later years, the only muscle he could move was in one cheek, which used to trigger a voice synthesis machine. But Hawking came to see his disability as a blessing. He reasoned that if wasn't disabled, he would've been compelled to lecture or be an administrator. Because of his disability, he could focus on his purpose and passion: research. If Hawking can find a blessing in near total paralysis, I can too with a broken kneecap, as can you, with any perceived misfortune. The Japanese Word for crisis is two characters: dangerous + opportunity. Are you experiencing a misfortune or crisis? What is your dangerous opportunity? How might you harness this incident or situation, to transform your life for the better? |
AuthorErich Toll is an adventure athlete, dabbling in spirituality ArchivesCategories |